On the Wednesday afternoon which was the afternoon which was on day 5, I had a complete meltdown. I just started to cry and felt incredibly depressed. A sister came by to say that they might have to move me again back to the short-stay surgery ward. I just didn't want to move as it was more or less agreed with the Reg that I would aim for home on the Thursday (day 6). As it was they were again able to keep me where I was, particularly as they had no idea when I'd be moving, and I was incredibly distressed. Other patients relatives made very unhelpful comments that they had been through more, when they had no idea of my personal story. It was insensitve and invalidating. Maybe I should have seized the opportunity to leave this ward which I would never want to encounter again. There was just no comparison between the level of care I received after the first to the second surgery, although my surgical team were very supportive, we agreed that keeping me in another night was not going to benefit me anymore, so I psyched myself up for my long journey to London, ensuring I had disability support by Virgin trains (really excellent), in place for day 6, post op.
In the end this was the best thing I coul have done. Although the day was long, I had also booked my carer to help with shopping, hair washing and to prepare me a meal so I could then rest at home. It was so good to be back at home. I had needed an extra night in hospital for the second side, and was so glad that my experience of the first side was as good as it was otherewise I am not sure I would have put myself through this again although it clearly needed doing. I therefore recommend again that a patient going through TOS surgery is not alone and has the support of family and/or close friends and does not travel on public transport either, unless they have support lined up. I took a taxi home from London Euston.
Here are my thoughts of day 6:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp73TZ5MAAk
Today is day 7 post-op. I slept well at home, and was so glad to see me cat, and have the support of my carer yesterday. Today I have done my spirometer exercises several times. Breathing is still difficult and I feel very tight. I have removed my dressing today, and it looks pretty similar to the other day (day 5) so here I am again. I am now using lots of Arnica as it really does help with bruising and am using scar oil on the area that doesn't still have steristrips attached to it. I mustn't pull those off!!!
I am still feeling somewhat emotional. It is hard doing this living alone, but would be too hard to travel far at this stage, and my family are not local. Rest and just watching TV are all I want to do. I feel that there is no doubt my second surgery has been a much harder experience than the first, and I do blame the ward environment for part of this, along with short-staffing and big delays in getting my medication. Now I am home I can obviously self-medicate in my own and usual way. I am so glad to be home. At least from heronin I have an idea of what to expect.
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